1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Always pray and make time to exercise.
4. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of six.
5. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
6. Clear your clutter from your house, car, desk, and let new energy flow into your life.
7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, issues of the past, negative thoughts, or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
8. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum, but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
9. Accept that life isn't fair, but it's still good.
10. Understand that life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
11. Don't talk yourself so seriously. No one else does.
12. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
13. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up your present.
14. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
15. Go on and burn those 'special' scented candles, use the 600-thread count sheets and the good china, and wear the fancy lingerie now. Stop waiting for a special occasion. Every day is special.
16. Realize that no one is in charge of your happiness except you.
17. Frame every so-called disaster with this words: "In five years, will this matter?"
18. Time heals everything. Give time, time.
19. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch with them.
20. Understand that envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. God provides.
21. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
22. Do the right thing.
23. Call your family often.
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
25. Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a Fast Pass. You only have one ride through life, so make the most of it!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
procrastination
It is time for finals, and of course I'm procrastinating! I found this Calvin & Hobbes quote that pretty much sums up my life at this point.
"-You can't just turn creativity on and off like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
-What mood is that?
-Last-minute panic."
"-You can't just turn creativity on and off like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
-What mood is that?
-Last-minute panic."
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Joy to the world
"Joy is strength"
-Mother Teresa
I almost just looked past this quote today... but when I looked again, it really made me think. It is seemingly so simple. Joy is strength. But that is such an interesting thought. It is not easy to be joyful all the time. It takes strength. There are so many hardships, worries, fears in this world, that it is easy to let our joy be extinguished by these externalities. It is only a truly strong person who can look past all of that, and find true joy. Joy is not a temporary feeling of happiness because you had a good day or a good experience... rather I think it is something more. I read something recently that said we can be joyful even in the darkest of times... even as there are tears streaming down our faith, there can be joy in that moment. Because joy is the deep-down, never-fleeing sense that God is always with us, and he has saved us. Joy is the belief that everything will be all right in the end. Joy is the understanding that God is praying for us, even when we cannot pray ourselves. And that kind of joy takes strength.
-Mother Teresa
I almost just looked past this quote today... but when I looked again, it really made me think. It is seemingly so simple. Joy is strength. But that is such an interesting thought. It is not easy to be joyful all the time. It takes strength. There are so many hardships, worries, fears in this world, that it is easy to let our joy be extinguished by these externalities. It is only a truly strong person who can look past all of that, and find true joy. Joy is not a temporary feeling of happiness because you had a good day or a good experience... rather I think it is something more. I read something recently that said we can be joyful even in the darkest of times... even as there are tears streaming down our faith, there can be joy in that moment. Because joy is the deep-down, never-fleeing sense that God is always with us, and he has saved us. Joy is the belief that everything will be all right in the end. Joy is the understanding that God is praying for us, even when we cannot pray ourselves. And that kind of joy takes strength.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
The Alchemist
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."
My friend Amy reminded me of a series of truly inspirational quotes from the Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo, and I thought I would reference another one.
This quote has so many interesting things to think about. First, the idea that the fear of something is worse than actually experiencing what it is we are afraid of. How often do I spend time thinking, What if I fail? What if I am making the wrong decision? What if my future doesn't work out the way I hope it does? This has been a scary year in that sense. So many decisions, and so much fear trying to prevent me from making the difficult choices. I have to keep reminding myself that conquering that fear is the hardest part of making any decision.
Then there is the idea that the time spent in search of one's dreams is an encounter with God and with eternity. How beautiful. When we are pursuing our highest ideals, we are doing God's will for us. God confronts us with challenges that are seemingly insurmountable, and we are overwhelmed by the obstacles. But at the same time, there is always that nagging voice inside us that urges us on... Go for it. You can do it. A voice propelling you toward the seemingly impossible. When we make those difficult decisions... when we take that final step off the edge into the unknown, it is then when we are encountering God. We are trusting him to carry us beyond that edge, and to be the one comforting known in a world of uncertainty.
My friend Amy reminded me of a series of truly inspirational quotes from the Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo, and I thought I would reference another one.
This quote has so many interesting things to think about. First, the idea that the fear of something is worse than actually experiencing what it is we are afraid of. How often do I spend time thinking, What if I fail? What if I am making the wrong decision? What if my future doesn't work out the way I hope it does? This has been a scary year in that sense. So many decisions, and so much fear trying to prevent me from making the difficult choices. I have to keep reminding myself that conquering that fear is the hardest part of making any decision.
Then there is the idea that the time spent in search of one's dreams is an encounter with God and with eternity. How beautiful. When we are pursuing our highest ideals, we are doing God's will for us. God confronts us with challenges that are seemingly insurmountable, and we are overwhelmed by the obstacles. But at the same time, there is always that nagging voice inside us that urges us on... Go for it. You can do it. A voice propelling you toward the seemingly impossible. When we make those difficult decisions... when we take that final step off the edge into the unknown, it is then when we are encountering God. We are trusting him to carry us beyond that edge, and to be the one comforting known in a world of uncertainty.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
fight for it
"If there is one piece of advice I can give you, it's this - when there's something you really want, fight for it. Don't give up, no matter how hopeless it seems. And when you've lost hope, ask yourself if ten years from now, you're going to wish you gave it just one more shot. Because teh best things in life, they don't come free."
-Grey's Anatomy
-Grey's Anatomy
Friday, November 28, 2008
live my life
this is my biggest inspiration these days - the idea of truly getting out there and living life. i want to be able to look back on my life when i'm 100 years old, and be able to say that i took every chance and every opportunity that came my way, and i made the most out of each moment. i don't want fear to hold me back. whether it means falling flat on my face hundreds of times before i get it right, i want to be able to say that i tried, and that i never gave up, or gave into my insecurities, fears, doubts... i want to live.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
thanksgiving
okay, I seriously need to get better at this blog thing. i'm getting there...
anyway, today being thanksgiving and all, i am in sort of a pensive mood (what else is new!) and realizing that there is so much i have to be thankful for. here's my top five for today!
1. i am thankful for my family. as crazy as they make me sometimes, they mean the world to me. my parents and i always have such a good time, and i am learning to truly treasure our time together. my aunts, and uncles, and cousins, and grandparents are all just incredible, and it feels so good to feel all that love around the table.
2. i am thankful for my friends. without them all, there is no way i would have made it through the past four years... seriously... it has been the most difficult four years of my life, and hopefully the most difficult i will ever have to face, but i have been truly blessed with some amazing friends who have stood by me through it all, constantly been there for advice and just to listen and be supportive. my friends mean the world to me.
3. i am thankful for the opportunity to have such an incredible four years at bates. as much shit as i've had to deal with these past four years, i am so lucky to be where i am. i remember four years ago, i was wishing desperately to get into bates... and here i am, a senior at bates! bates has given me more opportunities that i would have ever thought possible, and has showed me that i can do anything i can dream of.
4. i am thankful for my faith. i've been struggling lately with making time for god and connecting with my faith, but whenever i start to slip, i am confronted with little reminders that god is all around us, and that he loves us. i'm thankful that god refuses to let me go.
5. i am thankful for my health. i have survived almost insurmountable odds... faced death and come back, and seen the other side. i am a surviver. i have a new perspective on life, and a determination to make every moment count. health is not something i take for granted anymore, and now i see what a precious gift this is.
life is good. happy thanksgiving!
anyway, today being thanksgiving and all, i am in sort of a pensive mood (what else is new!) and realizing that there is so much i have to be thankful for. here's my top five for today!
1. i am thankful for my family. as crazy as they make me sometimes, they mean the world to me. my parents and i always have such a good time, and i am learning to truly treasure our time together. my aunts, and uncles, and cousins, and grandparents are all just incredible, and it feels so good to feel all that love around the table.
2. i am thankful for my friends. without them all, there is no way i would have made it through the past four years... seriously... it has been the most difficult four years of my life, and hopefully the most difficult i will ever have to face, but i have been truly blessed with some amazing friends who have stood by me through it all, constantly been there for advice and just to listen and be supportive. my friends mean the world to me.
3. i am thankful for the opportunity to have such an incredible four years at bates. as much shit as i've had to deal with these past four years, i am so lucky to be where i am. i remember four years ago, i was wishing desperately to get into bates... and here i am, a senior at bates! bates has given me more opportunities that i would have ever thought possible, and has showed me that i can do anything i can dream of.
4. i am thankful for my faith. i've been struggling lately with making time for god and connecting with my faith, but whenever i start to slip, i am confronted with little reminders that god is all around us, and that he loves us. i'm thankful that god refuses to let me go.
5. i am thankful for my health. i have survived almost insurmountable odds... faced death and come back, and seen the other side. i am a surviver. i have a new perspective on life, and a determination to make every moment count. health is not something i take for granted anymore, and now i see what a precious gift this is.
life is good. happy thanksgiving!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
redemption
"4 am is a great time of night. The day before is long dead, but the morning is yet to come. All the commotion from the night before has died down, and every sane, upstanding citizen is asleep. It's a great time to go for a walk. You've got the planet to yourself for an hour or so... so peaceful. Even the stars look different, waiting for the dawn. I feel the same way the stars do sometimes. Anticipating... the night is nearly over; the day is almost here.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
i swear we were infinite...
I'm finally reading 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower,' a book that I've heard for a long time that I just HAD to read, and now that I'm finally reading it, I understand why. One quote that really struck me is the description of a moment of perfection... with the words, "and in that moment, I swear we were infinite."
Wow. That simple sentence holds so much meaning. It made me think of those 'infinite' moments that I have experienced, and I decided to journal about an experience that still feels infinite to me, in my recollection of it.
The tranquil water stood still, reflecting the moonlight. The soft candlelight flickered across the dock, and cast a silvery glow across the lake. The stars shone in their dazzling spectacle, in this oasis far from the city lights... far from human touch.... far from worries and complications... I sat up and pulled the blanket up around my shoulders. I forgot how cold summer nights could be. Yet, surrounded by those who meant the most to me, I felt so comfortable... embraced in the warmth of the knowledge that I was exactly where I was meant to be. I laid back down and stared at the stars that weren't blocked by the branches above us. How did I get here? What did I do that was so great to deserve this? In that moment, I felt that God was so close that I could touch Him. Surrounded by the beauty of God's creation, I could feel the power all around me, and yet within me all at once. No where I would rather have been. We embraced, and prayed together... shared our innermost secrets, and fears, and dreams. We stared at the sky and the moon and listened to the sounds of summer nights. The wind gently moved across us, and I felt so alive. Thank you, God. For everything; All of this... I had never felt so at peace. It's the quiet moments, the simple times that make me feel like this.. It's those times that make us who we are. The infinite moments build us...
Wow. That simple sentence holds so much meaning. It made me think of those 'infinite' moments that I have experienced, and I decided to journal about an experience that still feels infinite to me, in my recollection of it.
The tranquil water stood still, reflecting the moonlight. The soft candlelight flickered across the dock, and cast a silvery glow across the lake. The stars shone in their dazzling spectacle, in this oasis far from the city lights... far from human touch.... far from worries and complications... I sat up and pulled the blanket up around my shoulders. I forgot how cold summer nights could be. Yet, surrounded by those who meant the most to me, I felt so comfortable... embraced in the warmth of the knowledge that I was exactly where I was meant to be. I laid back down and stared at the stars that weren't blocked by the branches above us. How did I get here? What did I do that was so great to deserve this? In that moment, I felt that God was so close that I could touch Him. Surrounded by the beauty of God's creation, I could feel the power all around me, and yet within me all at once. No where I would rather have been. We embraced, and prayed together... shared our innermost secrets, and fears, and dreams. We stared at the sky and the moon and listened to the sounds of summer nights. The wind gently moved across us, and I felt so alive. Thank you, God. For everything; All of this... I had never felt so at peace. It's the quiet moments, the simple times that make me feel like this.. It's those times that make us who we are. The infinite moments build us...
Friday, March 28, 2008
who we are is enough
I'm reading this really incredibly book called, 'The Dance,' and the part I just read last night talks about self-acceptance and really embracing who we are made to be. It was exactly what I was thinking about last night.
"The question is not why are we so infrequently the people we really want to be. The question is why do we so infrequently want to be the people we really are.
Because you have no faith that who you are is enough. But it is... who you really are is enough."
That is such a simple idea, but something we so rarely understand and accept. I think if we keep reminding ourselves of this basic fact - that who we really are is enough - then we will be a much happier world.
"The question is not why are we so infrequently the people we really want to be. The question is why do we so infrequently want to be the people we really are.
Because you have no faith that who you are is enough. But it is... who you really are is enough."
That is such a simple idea, but something we so rarely understand and accept. I think if we keep reminding ourselves of this basic fact - that who we really are is enough - then we will be a much happier world.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
being happy with who i am
so lately i've been feeling pretty critical about myself. this semester, i've put on a pretty solid amount of weight. and in theory, that's a good thing. i'm healthy! my body is finally in full recovery, and it is loving life. i also stopped drinking, and so the weight i've put on isn't the typical freshman fifteen beer weight, but actually 'me being healthy and eating like a normal person' weight. it is a good sign.
but although i recognize all of that intuitively, it is hard to convince myself of that on a day to day basis. don't get me wrong, i know i'm not overweight. far from it. and i eat like it's my job, because i absolutely love food. it's one of my favorite hobbies. but no matter how thin and fit i know i am, when my once self confidence-boosting loose jeans are starting to get tight, i feel awful about myself. i'm pretty pro with the negative self-talk, and although it's absolutely ridiculous to get upset about my size 1 gap jeans being just a bit tighter than they were last week, it's my reality.
i talked about all this with one of my really close friends tonight, who has been feeling similarly, even though she, likewise is incredibly in shape (a fellow marathoner) and one of the most beautiful girls i know. and we decided this needs to stop. we're going to turn it around. because, in reality, we're beautiful, healthy, strong women who deserve to acknowledge what god gave us. and so, here's why i decided i love my body:
1. it has been through SO much. my battle scars are evidence enough of how hard my body has hung in there against seemingly insurmountable circumstances.
2. it is strong. the amount of marathons these legs have carried me through is absolutely incredible. it's a real fighter.
3. it is soft and cuddly in all the right places, and it allows me to give some pretty great hugs.
4. i can look pretty darn cute when i try (which granted, is not all the time, judging from tonight's fabulous ensemble of sweatpants and a huge peer ministry t-shirt, but sometimes comfort is all that matters).
5. this is the body god gave me. and i'm going to use it, and love it, and cherish it, and treat it like it were truly the god-given gift it is.
<3
but although i recognize all of that intuitively, it is hard to convince myself of that on a day to day basis. don't get me wrong, i know i'm not overweight. far from it. and i eat like it's my job, because i absolutely love food. it's one of my favorite hobbies. but no matter how thin and fit i know i am, when my once self confidence-boosting loose jeans are starting to get tight, i feel awful about myself. i'm pretty pro with the negative self-talk, and although it's absolutely ridiculous to get upset about my size 1 gap jeans being just a bit tighter than they were last week, it's my reality.
i talked about all this with one of my really close friends tonight, who has been feeling similarly, even though she, likewise is incredibly in shape (a fellow marathoner) and one of the most beautiful girls i know. and we decided this needs to stop. we're going to turn it around. because, in reality, we're beautiful, healthy, strong women who deserve to acknowledge what god gave us. and so, here's why i decided i love my body:
1. it has been through SO much. my battle scars are evidence enough of how hard my body has hung in there against seemingly insurmountable circumstances.
2. it is strong. the amount of marathons these legs have carried me through is absolutely incredible. it's a real fighter.
3. it is soft and cuddly in all the right places, and it allows me to give some pretty great hugs.
4. i can look pretty darn cute when i try (which granted, is not all the time, judging from tonight's fabulous ensemble of sweatpants and a huge peer ministry t-shirt, but sometimes comfort is all that matters).
5. this is the body god gave me. and i'm going to use it, and love it, and cherish it, and treat it like it were truly the god-given gift it is.
<3
Sunday, March 23, 2008
easter
thought of the day, from an amazing easter homily on cape cod...
"if it seems like God is far away, then who moved - you or God?"
"if it seems like God is far away, then who moved - you or God?"
Thursday, March 6, 2008
we are the boss
quote from my page-a-day calendar for today:
"no matter how nicely we ask, if we are the boss, we are the bitch. the important thing to remember is, we are the boss."
"no matter how nicely we ask, if we are the boss, we are the bitch. the important thing to remember is, we are the boss."
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
love
In my Chinese literature class today, we read an interview of Eileen Chang, a well-known Chinese author during the Cultural Revolution, and one quote really stood out for me... in fact, I've been thinking about it ALL day. It's one of those quotes.
"If it's love, you don't ask if it's worth it or not."
How cool?! So simple, but so true... on so many levels. Here are my thoughts. First, after hearing this quote, I thought about the friendships and relationships in my life. And that idea makes a lot of sense. I would do anything for my good friends and family. There are no justifications or reasons necessary... it's just love, pure and simple.
Later, I got to thinking about this quote in terms of my relationship with God. This is the perfect statement of faith. First of all, loving God. If it is truly perfect love - a truly dedicated relationship with God, you don't ask if it's worth it or not. Lately, I've been having a rough time waking up on Sunday mornings to make it to mass... I don't really enjoy the masses in town, and so I find myself thinking a lot, 'is it worth it?' And so this quote is kinda perfect.
Also, as I'm writing this, I just realized that this quote also perfectly describes God's love for us. As part of the Lenten reflection sort of mood I'm supposed to be in, this totally works. God loves us so much that he gave his son to die for us - and never once asked if it was worth it. He knew it was. It was worth the life of his only son to save a bunch of people he never met... who mess up all the time, and continually make the same dumb mistakes, and turn away from his love... but he loves us SO much that it was worth it anyway. In fact, the thought of us being 'worthy' never even crossed his mind. We are that loved.
"If it's love, you don't ask if it's worth it or not."
How cool?! So simple, but so true... on so many levels. Here are my thoughts. First, after hearing this quote, I thought about the friendships and relationships in my life. And that idea makes a lot of sense. I would do anything for my good friends and family. There are no justifications or reasons necessary... it's just love, pure and simple.
Later, I got to thinking about this quote in terms of my relationship with God. This is the perfect statement of faith. First of all, loving God. If it is truly perfect love - a truly dedicated relationship with God, you don't ask if it's worth it or not. Lately, I've been having a rough time waking up on Sunday mornings to make it to mass... I don't really enjoy the masses in town, and so I find myself thinking a lot, 'is it worth it?' And so this quote is kinda perfect.
Also, as I'm writing this, I just realized that this quote also perfectly describes God's love for us. As part of the Lenten reflection sort of mood I'm supposed to be in, this totally works. God loves us so much that he gave his son to die for us - and never once asked if it was worth it. He knew it was. It was worth the life of his only son to save a bunch of people he never met... who mess up all the time, and continually make the same dumb mistakes, and turn away from his love... but he loves us SO much that it was worth it anyway. In fact, the thought of us being 'worthy' never even crossed his mind. We are that loved.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
my (newest) favorite song
Today, on the radio, I heard my newest favorite song. It was a little crazy actually... I have my radio as my alarm clock, and my alarm went off, and it was this song... and I was in bed, tearing up and just loving it. We had a moment... my stuffed animal and I! So anyway, one day, when I am all grown up and a Kairos leader again, this will be my song. It's been decided :)
"Lost"
I can't believe it's over
I watched the whole thing fall
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall
If I'd only knew
The days were slipping past
That the good things never last
That you were crying
Summer turned to winter
And the snow it turned to rain
And the rain turned into tears upon your face
I hardly recognized the girl you are today
And god I hope it's not too late
It's not too late
'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your worlds crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said, babe, you're not lost
Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Things have seem to changed
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away
'Cause you are not alone
And I am there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When the worlds crashing down
And you can not bear the cross
I said, baby, you're not lost
"Lost"
I can't believe it's over
I watched the whole thing fall
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall
If I'd only knew
The days were slipping past
That the good things never last
That you were crying
Summer turned to winter
And the snow it turned to rain
And the rain turned into tears upon your face
I hardly recognized the girl you are today
And god I hope it's not too late
It's not too late
'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your worlds crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said, babe, you're not lost
Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Things have seem to changed
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away
'Cause you are not alone
And I am there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When the worlds crashing down
And you can not bear the cross
I said, baby, you're not lost
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Putting old stories to rest
"It isn't just surgeons. I don't know anyone who isn't haunted by something or someone. And whether we try to slice the pain away with a scalpel or shove it in the back of a closet ... our efforts usually fail. So the only way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page or put an old story to rest.... finally, finally to rest."
-Grey's Anatomy
-Grey's Anatomy
Friday, February 22, 2008
God's Plan
It has been altogether too long since I've had a blog post! With the craziness of midterms, and now being home for break, I've fallen out of the habit of posting. But I'm not about to back off my New Year's resolution of keeping this blog, and so here we go again!
I got an email today, with the advice that 'everything happens for a reason - and it was all part of God's plan for your life.' That got me thinking... and I'm not sure if I have come up with any answers, but maybe just more questions. I don't think we're meant to have an answer.
Anyway, the first thing that came to mind when I thought of 'God's plan' was the plan He had for His own son, to fulfill the prophesies of the scriptures, and to suffer, endure torment and prosecution, and to eventually be crucified, and rise from the dead. Talk about a big plan! But the unique situation that Jesus was in meant that he had advance knowledge of this plan, and since the beginning of his life, knew that this was the path he was meant to take, and that he would eventually endure unbelievable amounts of spiritual, emotional, and physical pain - and to face an agonizing death at the hands of non-believers. That's not exactly a bright future to face.
And so that got me thinking... we, as humans, constantly are praying to know God's plan for us, and wishing we could see where He was taking us. But do we really want to know? What if God's plan for me was going to be painful and difficult? What if I knew that I would face insurmountable hardship in the future? Would I still choose to carry out His plan?
Tough questions... when I thought about it, I realized that Jesus was actually given that choice. At any time, he could have prevented the pain that would befall him, but instead he made the amazingly courageous decision to carry out that plan, despite the cost. But would we, as humans, choose that same path? As much as I would like to say yes, I'm just not sure. So often we're tempted to choose the easiest path - to calculate our risks and make decisions that will most benefit us in the future. But thinking about the bigger picture, and putting the greatest good ahead of our own personal good is much more difficult to do.
So maybe, by concealing His plan for us, God is doing us a favor. We instead have the gift of being able to live each day as it comes to us - without worrying about the difficult times we will face in the future. Maybe there's some things we'd rather not know now.
I got an email today, with the advice that 'everything happens for a reason - and it was all part of God's plan for your life.' That got me thinking... and I'm not sure if I have come up with any answers, but maybe just more questions. I don't think we're meant to have an answer.
Anyway, the first thing that came to mind when I thought of 'God's plan' was the plan He had for His own son, to fulfill the prophesies of the scriptures, and to suffer, endure torment and prosecution, and to eventually be crucified, and rise from the dead. Talk about a big plan! But the unique situation that Jesus was in meant that he had advance knowledge of this plan, and since the beginning of his life, knew that this was the path he was meant to take, and that he would eventually endure unbelievable amounts of spiritual, emotional, and physical pain - and to face an agonizing death at the hands of non-believers. That's not exactly a bright future to face.
And so that got me thinking... we, as humans, constantly are praying to know God's plan for us, and wishing we could see where He was taking us. But do we really want to know? What if God's plan for me was going to be painful and difficult? What if I knew that I would face insurmountable hardship in the future? Would I still choose to carry out His plan?
Tough questions... when I thought about it, I realized that Jesus was actually given that choice. At any time, he could have prevented the pain that would befall him, but instead he made the amazingly courageous decision to carry out that plan, despite the cost. But would we, as humans, choose that same path? As much as I would like to say yes, I'm just not sure. So often we're tempted to choose the easiest path - to calculate our risks and make decisions that will most benefit us in the future. But thinking about the bigger picture, and putting the greatest good ahead of our own personal good is much more difficult to do.
So maybe, by concealing His plan for us, God is doing us a favor. We instead have the gift of being able to live each day as it comes to us - without worrying about the difficult times we will face in the future. Maybe there's some things we'd rather not know now.
Monday, February 4, 2008
following our dreams
"What is a personal calling? It is God's blessing, it is the path that God chose for you here on Earth. Whenever we do something that fills us with enthusiasm, we are following our legend. However we don't always have the courage to confront our own dreams. Why?
There are four obstacles. First, we are told from childhood onwards that everything we want to do is impossible. We grow up with this idea, and as the years accumulate, so too do the layers of prejudice, fear, and guilt. There comes a time when our personal calling is so deeply buried in our soul as to be invisible. But it's still there.
If we have the courage to disinter our dream, we are then faced by the second obstacle: love. We know what we want to do, but we are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream. We do not realize that love is just a further impetus, not something that will prevent us going forward, and that those who genuinely wish us well want us to be happy and are prepared to accompany us on that journey.
Once we have accepted that love is a stimulus, we come up against the third obstacle: fear of the defeats we will meet on the path. We who fight for our dream suffer far more when it doesn't work out, because we cannot fall back on the old excuse, "Oh well, I didn't really want it anyway." We do want it and know that we have staked everything on it and that the path of the personal calling is no easier than any other path, except that our whole heart is in that journey.
So why it is so important to live our personal calling if we are only going to suffer more than other people? Because once we have overcome the defeats - and we always do - we are filled with a greater sense of euphoria and confidence. In the silence of our hearts, we know that we are proving ourselves worth of the miracle of life. Each day, each hour, is part of the good fight. We start to live with enthusiasm and pleasure. Intense, unexpected suffering passes more quickly than suffering that is apparently bearable; the latter goes on for years, and without our noticing, eats away at our soul, until, one day, we are no longer able to free ourselves from the bitterness.
Having disinterred our dream, having used the power of love to nurture it, we suddenly notice that what we always wanted is there, waiting for us, perhaps the very next day. Then comes the fourth obstacle: the fear of realizing the dream for which we have been fighting all our lives. Oscar Wilde said, "Each man kills the thing he loves." And it's true. The mere possibility of getting what we want fills the soul of the ordinary person with guilt. We look around at all those who have failed to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what we want either. We forget about all the obstacles we overcame, all the suffering we endured, all the things we had to give up in order to get this far.
This is the most dangerous of the obstacles because it has a kind of saintly aura about it: renouncing joy and conquest. But if you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of God, you help the Soul of the World, and you understand why you are here."
~The Alchemist, Paulo Coehlo
There are four obstacles. First, we are told from childhood onwards that everything we want to do is impossible. We grow up with this idea, and as the years accumulate, so too do the layers of prejudice, fear, and guilt. There comes a time when our personal calling is so deeply buried in our soul as to be invisible. But it's still there.
If we have the courage to disinter our dream, we are then faced by the second obstacle: love. We know what we want to do, but we are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream. We do not realize that love is just a further impetus, not something that will prevent us going forward, and that those who genuinely wish us well want us to be happy and are prepared to accompany us on that journey.
Once we have accepted that love is a stimulus, we come up against the third obstacle: fear of the defeats we will meet on the path. We who fight for our dream suffer far more when it doesn't work out, because we cannot fall back on the old excuse, "Oh well, I didn't really want it anyway." We do want it and know that we have staked everything on it and that the path of the personal calling is no easier than any other path, except that our whole heart is in that journey.
So why it is so important to live our personal calling if we are only going to suffer more than other people? Because once we have overcome the defeats - and we always do - we are filled with a greater sense of euphoria and confidence. In the silence of our hearts, we know that we are proving ourselves worth of the miracle of life. Each day, each hour, is part of the good fight. We start to live with enthusiasm and pleasure. Intense, unexpected suffering passes more quickly than suffering that is apparently bearable; the latter goes on for years, and without our noticing, eats away at our soul, until, one day, we are no longer able to free ourselves from the bitterness.
Having disinterred our dream, having used the power of love to nurture it, we suddenly notice that what we always wanted is there, waiting for us, perhaps the very next day. Then comes the fourth obstacle: the fear of realizing the dream for which we have been fighting all our lives. Oscar Wilde said, "Each man kills the thing he loves." And it's true. The mere possibility of getting what we want fills the soul of the ordinary person with guilt. We look around at all those who have failed to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what we want either. We forget about all the obstacles we overcame, all the suffering we endured, all the things we had to give up in order to get this far.
This is the most dangerous of the obstacles because it has a kind of saintly aura about it: renouncing joy and conquest. But if you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of God, you help the Soul of the World, and you understand why you are here."
~The Alchemist, Paulo Coehlo
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
the great unknown
Until a little while ago, I thought I had my life figured out. I knew exactly what I wanted, and where I was going. And that was comforting. No worries. But now, things have changed. The more I take risks, the more I'm discovering that there is a whole wide world of opportunities out there, and the options are limitless. Now I have no idea what I want from life, but somehow that idea is even more comforting than before. Okay, a little scary at the same time... since the idea of living in a box after graduation would probably not thrill my parents after a 120,000 dollar college investment, but then again, it's my life. And I'm going to live it.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
blink
I just finished reading a really interesting book called 'Blink,' which discusses the psychology behind intuition and snap judgments. It cites cases from all different fields - from tennis, to criminology, to art, to autism - to show how many times we make better decisions when we focus only on our intuition, or that 'gut feeling' we get when exposed to a situation in the first few seconds - as long as it takes us to blink. More often than not, when we are exposed to all of the details of a situation, and our knowledge of that situation increases, our ability to make a good decision decreases. The book gave dozens of examples of this thought process, as well as studying people who are known for intuitive decision-making, such as fire-fighters, police officers, military, and Wall Street traders, who are all in situations where important decisions need to be made quickly and often based upon little information.
One case cited was the United States' war games of 2002, called the Millenium Challenge. In this hypothetical situation, an extremely anti-American terrorist leader was hiding in the Middle East, and posing a threat to U.S. national security. Sound familiar? That's because these war games were essentially the testing ground for the Iraq War. To test strategy, military officials were split into two groups - the Blue Team, which represented the U.S. government, and the Red Team, which represented the Middle Eastern terrorists. The Blue Team was provided with incredibly advanced and technical information about the enemy - psychological evaluations, military positions and strategy, and entire databases describing every available detail about the terrorist organization's military setup. The Red Team, under the guidance of a well-known military general operated under the strategy of intuition and spontaneity. Although their leader was incredibly well-educated in military theory, they operated based on very little information - essentially flying blind. And over the course of several months, as the war games played out, the Red Team succeeded in destroying every U.S. stronghold, assassinating political leaders allied with the U.S., eventually ending in complete defeat for the Blue Team. The government was in shock. Years of military information technology research had resulted in nothing - and had in fact weakened their military position. After an assessment period, the Department of Defense, in typical American fashion, destroyed the results, and called for a 'redo' of the games - this time, with the Red Team operating predictably according to a script, ending, of course, with a Blue Team victory. Then the U.S. confidently went to war, satisfied that their information technologies were indeed proven to be the best military strategy. Unfortunately, as we've seen over the past few years, that's not how the real world works. Success is often determined, not by an overload of information, but by the ability to act quickly and respond to changes in stimuli with gut reactions.
Today, I was thinking about how accurate this theory is in my own life, and what came to mind was something that I've been working through during the past year or so. I trusted someone completely - he was the person I went to with my deepest secrets, and asked for advice on all the most important decisions, and considered to be one of my greatest role models. We became very close friends, and it got to the point where not a day went by that we didn't talk. My closest friends watched what was happening, and were concerned. They knew this could be heading nowhere good - based on what they saw, and what I told them, this was downright scary. But I ignored that. They didn't know him. They didn't have the relationship that I had with him. I knew the most intimate details of his life, and I knew every aspect of his personality. There couldn't be a problem. But of course, there was. And I never saw it coming. I think this is the sort of situation that 'Blink' is talking about. I was too close to the situation. I was surrounded by too much information - emotions and details that kept me from seeing the underlying and basic truth - that there was something very wrong. My friends, on the other hand, were more removed from the situation, and thus only knew the basic details, and this was enough to make an instinctual decision, and ultimately the right one.
So maybe too much information isn't always better. Maybe the whole idea of a well-informed decision is a contradiction. And instead, sometimes maybe we should just learn to listen to our hearts.
One case cited was the United States' war games of 2002, called the Millenium Challenge. In this hypothetical situation, an extremely anti-American terrorist leader was hiding in the Middle East, and posing a threat to U.S. national security. Sound familiar? That's because these war games were essentially the testing ground for the Iraq War. To test strategy, military officials were split into two groups - the Blue Team, which represented the U.S. government, and the Red Team, which represented the Middle Eastern terrorists. The Blue Team was provided with incredibly advanced and technical information about the enemy - psychological evaluations, military positions and strategy, and entire databases describing every available detail about the terrorist organization's military setup. The Red Team, under the guidance of a well-known military general operated under the strategy of intuition and spontaneity. Although their leader was incredibly well-educated in military theory, they operated based on very little information - essentially flying blind. And over the course of several months, as the war games played out, the Red Team succeeded in destroying every U.S. stronghold, assassinating political leaders allied with the U.S., eventually ending in complete defeat for the Blue Team. The government was in shock. Years of military information technology research had resulted in nothing - and had in fact weakened their military position. After an assessment period, the Department of Defense, in typical American fashion, destroyed the results, and called for a 'redo' of the games - this time, with the Red Team operating predictably according to a script, ending, of course, with a Blue Team victory. Then the U.S. confidently went to war, satisfied that their information technologies were indeed proven to be the best military strategy. Unfortunately, as we've seen over the past few years, that's not how the real world works. Success is often determined, not by an overload of information, but by the ability to act quickly and respond to changes in stimuli with gut reactions.
Today, I was thinking about how accurate this theory is in my own life, and what came to mind was something that I've been working through during the past year or so. I trusted someone completely - he was the person I went to with my deepest secrets, and asked for advice on all the most important decisions, and considered to be one of my greatest role models. We became very close friends, and it got to the point where not a day went by that we didn't talk. My closest friends watched what was happening, and were concerned. They knew this could be heading nowhere good - based on what they saw, and what I told them, this was downright scary. But I ignored that. They didn't know him. They didn't have the relationship that I had with him. I knew the most intimate details of his life, and I knew every aspect of his personality. There couldn't be a problem. But of course, there was. And I never saw it coming. I think this is the sort of situation that 'Blink' is talking about. I was too close to the situation. I was surrounded by too much information - emotions and details that kept me from seeing the underlying and basic truth - that there was something very wrong. My friends, on the other hand, were more removed from the situation, and thus only knew the basic details, and this was enough to make an instinctual decision, and ultimately the right one.
So maybe too much information isn't always better. Maybe the whole idea of a well-informed decision is a contradiction. And instead, sometimes maybe we should just learn to listen to our hearts.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
love is all you need
After an amazing discussion tonight at our campus ministry meeting, I am still in such a pensive kind of mood, so I decided to blog and sort of think through what we talked about tonight...
So, the topic of our discussion tonight was the mass. Simple enough, right? But not really, it ends up. Mike, our campus minister asked us to think about why mass is so important. Why is mass so vitally necessary that the church calls it a mortal sin to miss a Sunday service? What sets mass apart from everything else in the Catholic tradition?
My first thought was that mass for me is a place to recharge for the week ahead, and to regain that focus on God that gets lost so easily in the craziness of day-to-day life. To recommit myself to living a God-centered life, and to get my priorities back in order. But then I had to think... if that were the most important reason for mass, then why can't we go it alone? Why is it so important that we all gather together in church to celebrate mass?
Well, here's the conclusion we came to... not like there's a definite answer to any of these questions, but rather more of a work-in-progress thought process. But the first part of our answer was thinking about the meaning of life (how philosophical, right?). What is the meaning of life? Well, God. If God should be the center of our lives, then certainly he should be the meaning behind life. And we know that God is love. So I think we can settle on the idea that the meaning of life... is love. To love ourselves, and to love one another, just as God loves us. Pretty simple so far, but a way cool idea.
Thinking about this a little further, people yearn to be loved. I would argue it is a basic necessity, at times even more important than food or water, or shelter. To be loved, and to love in return. It's how we survive. I think what people search for is to be loved without judgment, completely and without reservation. The kind of love that accepts a person for who they are - all of their faults and weaknesses, and for all of the quirks that make them uniquely them. A unwavering love despite anything they have done, or could ever do. That's pretty powerful. I would argue that no matter how much we try, we can come close to loving someone else as deeply as this, but I'm not sure we can ever achieve this absolutely perfect love. I think only God can. And amazingly enough, God offers us this kind of love that we so desperately yearn for in the mass. He offers us himself, and his son, and a perfect acceptance of everything we are and will become, because we are created in his image, and he has given everything to give us life.
So, I think we closed in on an answer, at least a temporary one. Mass is a time to receive the love we are looking for, and to receive it so abundantly that we are rejuvenated and that meaning is given to our lives. And maybe, as our hearts begin to overflow with all of this amazing love that God is giving us, we can start giving it out in return - to others, and back to God in the mass. I guess, it all boils down to something the Beatles discovered long ago...
"All you need is love; love is all you need."
So, the topic of our discussion tonight was the mass. Simple enough, right? But not really, it ends up. Mike, our campus minister asked us to think about why mass is so important. Why is mass so vitally necessary that the church calls it a mortal sin to miss a Sunday service? What sets mass apart from everything else in the Catholic tradition?
My first thought was that mass for me is a place to recharge for the week ahead, and to regain that focus on God that gets lost so easily in the craziness of day-to-day life. To recommit myself to living a God-centered life, and to get my priorities back in order. But then I had to think... if that were the most important reason for mass, then why can't we go it alone? Why is it so important that we all gather together in church to celebrate mass?
Well, here's the conclusion we came to... not like there's a definite answer to any of these questions, but rather more of a work-in-progress thought process. But the first part of our answer was thinking about the meaning of life (how philosophical, right?). What is the meaning of life? Well, God. If God should be the center of our lives, then certainly he should be the meaning behind life. And we know that God is love. So I think we can settle on the idea that the meaning of life... is love. To love ourselves, and to love one another, just as God loves us. Pretty simple so far, but a way cool idea.
Thinking about this a little further, people yearn to be loved. I would argue it is a basic necessity, at times even more important than food or water, or shelter. To be loved, and to love in return. It's how we survive. I think what people search for is to be loved without judgment, completely and without reservation. The kind of love that accepts a person for who they are - all of their faults and weaknesses, and for all of the quirks that make them uniquely them. A unwavering love despite anything they have done, or could ever do. That's pretty powerful. I would argue that no matter how much we try, we can come close to loving someone else as deeply as this, but I'm not sure we can ever achieve this absolutely perfect love. I think only God can. And amazingly enough, God offers us this kind of love that we so desperately yearn for in the mass. He offers us himself, and his son, and a perfect acceptance of everything we are and will become, because we are created in his image, and he has given everything to give us life.
So, I think we closed in on an answer, at least a temporary one. Mass is a time to receive the love we are looking for, and to receive it so abundantly that we are rejuvenated and that meaning is given to our lives. And maybe, as our hearts begin to overflow with all of this amazing love that God is giving us, we can start giving it out in return - to others, and back to God in the mass. I guess, it all boils down to something the Beatles discovered long ago...
"All you need is love; love is all you need."
live out loud
So, I found two amazing quotes today, and I think they actually fit together really well, and sort of sum up what I have been thinking about today.
“Leaders are visionaries with a poorly developed sense of fear and no concept of the odds against them. They make the impossible happen.”
"You know the Greeks didn't write obituaries. They only asked one question after a man died: "Did he have passion?" (Serendipity)
In the past few days, life has presented me with some really incredible opportunities, and a lot of potential for the future. It is one of those weeks where I feel like things are starting to come together, and that there really is a plan out there for me somewhere. Maybe God doesn't just intend for me to be able to ask customers if they want fries with that in five different languages (although it is always a good backup plan if need be!) So, after yet another amazing day today, I'm totally pumped up. I feel like I really can change the world... touch people's lives... give back for the many ways I have been blessed in life. It's been one of those days where the obstacles that used to block my path have faded into the distance, and I'm staring at a wide open road, with nothing between me and my wildest dreams. And I'm ready to follow that path, with everything I've got.
“Leaders are visionaries with a poorly developed sense of fear and no concept of the odds against them. They make the impossible happen.”
"You know the Greeks didn't write obituaries. They only asked one question after a man died: "Did he have passion?" (Serendipity)
In the past few days, life has presented me with some really incredible opportunities, and a lot of potential for the future. It is one of those weeks where I feel like things are starting to come together, and that there really is a plan out there for me somewhere. Maybe God doesn't just intend for me to be able to ask customers if they want fries with that in five different languages (although it is always a good backup plan if need be!) So, after yet another amazing day today, I'm totally pumped up. I feel like I really can change the world... touch people's lives... give back for the many ways I have been blessed in life. It's been one of those days where the obstacles that used to block my path have faded into the distance, and I'm staring at a wide open road, with nothing between me and my wildest dreams. And I'm ready to follow that path, with everything I've got.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
letting down your guard
I really liked this quote, and it got me thinking today. It's from Grey's Anatomy, as all good quotes are :)
"Deep down, everyone wants to believe they can be hardcore. But being hardcore isn’t just about being tough. It’s about acceptance. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be hardcore for once. You don’t have to be tough every minute of every day. It’s okay to let down your guard. In fact there are moments when it’s the best thing you can possibly do… as long as you choose your moments wisely."
I think I got to this point last night. I was literally all out of toughness and hardcoreness. My (new) laptop crashed four times, and I lost the essay I was working on... four times in a row. Super, right? And then, my printer decided it would be an opportune time to start printing test pages instead of my homework... five test pages to be exact. Like seriously? On top of the absolutely crazy-packed, stressful day I had just had, and the one coming up, I was starting to lose it. That's where this quote comes in I thing. Acceptance. I'm WAY over-scheduled and over-committed and I say 'yes' to way too many people. I think I need to start realizing that I only do have 24 hours in a day, and it would be nice if a few of those hours could be used for such luxuries as sleeping and eating! And so... during my break between classes, instead of a last-minute cramming session or working on my everlasting volunteer project, I'm relaxing! I'm in bed, journaling, and about to break out a coloring book with my roommate. And you know what? It feels pretty great.
"Deep down, everyone wants to believe they can be hardcore. But being hardcore isn’t just about being tough. It’s about acceptance. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be hardcore for once. You don’t have to be tough every minute of every day. It’s okay to let down your guard. In fact there are moments when it’s the best thing you can possibly do… as long as you choose your moments wisely."
I think I got to this point last night. I was literally all out of toughness and hardcoreness. My (new) laptop crashed four times, and I lost the essay I was working on... four times in a row. Super, right? And then, my printer decided it would be an opportune time to start printing test pages instead of my homework... five test pages to be exact. Like seriously? On top of the absolutely crazy-packed, stressful day I had just had, and the one coming up, I was starting to lose it. That's where this quote comes in I thing. Acceptance. I'm WAY over-scheduled and over-committed and I say 'yes' to way too many people. I think I need to start realizing that I only do have 24 hours in a day, and it would be nice if a few of those hours could be used for such luxuries as sleeping and eating! And so... during my break between classes, instead of a last-minute cramming session or working on my everlasting volunteer project, I'm relaxing! I'm in bed, journaling, and about to break out a coloring book with my roommate. And you know what? It feels pretty great.
Monday, January 14, 2008
disney marathon '08
So I saw a quote on someone's t-shirt this weekend that sums up really well the entire marathoning experience, as well as my weekend.
"At mile 20 I thought I was dead
At mile 22 I wished I was dead
At mile 24 I knew I was dead
At mile 26.2 I knew nothing could kill me."
I think that says it all. I can barely walk now and and pretty impressively drugged up, but I'm super proud of me, and amazed that I finished all 39.3 miles. What a weekend!
"At mile 20 I thought I was dead
At mile 22 I wished I was dead
At mile 24 I knew I was dead
At mile 26.2 I knew nothing could kill me."
I think that says it all. I can barely walk now and and pretty impressively drugged up, but I'm super proud of me, and amazed that I finished all 39.3 miles. What a weekend!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
falling apart
"i believe that everything happens for a reason. people change so that you can learn to let go. things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right... and sometimes, good things fall apart so that better things can fall together."
-marilyn monroe
-marilyn monroe
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
niceness detox
for Christmas, one of my closest friends got me a page-a-day calendar called 'getting in touch with your inner bitch,' and said that this would be a good project for the new year. although it was half a joke present, i'm actually really intrigued by the quotes and tips that the calendar gives. today's page had a 'niceness detox tip' that said, "whether you call it toxic niceness, "the disease to please," or "nurturing," the bottom line is that when we suffer from it, everyone gets more out of our lives than we do. getting in touch with your inner bitch is the cure."
so... my question to ponder for the day is, is that true? a good part of me thinks it is. sometimes i can't remember the last time i did something just because i wanted to, or something completely and totally for me. and that can get pretty tiring sometimes. i remember a priest from st. mary's who told us once that life is like those announcements about emergency situations on an airplane. you need to put on your own mask before helping others with theirs. same with life. you can't take care of other people unless you yourself are taken care of first. it's definitely an interesting, and true idea.
but... is that really a good model for living? i'm not sure. i tend to think that it is much better to give than to receive, and that by brightening someone else's day, you will receive the same satisfaction. it makes me wonder if maybe other people getting more out of our lives than us isn't as big of a problem as it sounds. for example, i was thinking about this while volunteering at the hospital this morning. five hours of essentially chaos, from 7 am until 12 pm, running all the 'behind the scenes' responsibilities as well as making sure the patients are happy and well-cared for. by the end, i'm completely beat. but i find a sort of satisfaction in that, walking home, and knowing that i have given absolutely everything that is in me that morning. i worked with some truly amazing patients - an immigrant from darfur, a woman who was recovering from a quadruple bypass, and so many more. and it made me really happy that i was able to lighten their load just a bit with a smile and encouraging words.
maybe giving it all isn't a bad thing after all. looking at how greatly we are blessed with the lives we lead and the friends around us, it makes me think that if everyone suffered from this disease they call 'toxic niceness,' this world might just be a better place.
so... my question to ponder for the day is, is that true? a good part of me thinks it is. sometimes i can't remember the last time i did something just because i wanted to, or something completely and totally for me. and that can get pretty tiring sometimes. i remember a priest from st. mary's who told us once that life is like those announcements about emergency situations on an airplane. you need to put on your own mask before helping others with theirs. same with life. you can't take care of other people unless you yourself are taken care of first. it's definitely an interesting, and true idea.
but... is that really a good model for living? i'm not sure. i tend to think that it is much better to give than to receive, and that by brightening someone else's day, you will receive the same satisfaction. it makes me wonder if maybe other people getting more out of our lives than us isn't as big of a problem as it sounds. for example, i was thinking about this while volunteering at the hospital this morning. five hours of essentially chaos, from 7 am until 12 pm, running all the 'behind the scenes' responsibilities as well as making sure the patients are happy and well-cared for. by the end, i'm completely beat. but i find a sort of satisfaction in that, walking home, and knowing that i have given absolutely everything that is in me that morning. i worked with some truly amazing patients - an immigrant from darfur, a woman who was recovering from a quadruple bypass, and so many more. and it made me really happy that i was able to lighten their load just a bit with a smile and encouraging words.
maybe giving it all isn't a bad thing after all. looking at how greatly we are blessed with the lives we lead and the friends around us, it makes me think that if everyone suffered from this disease they call 'toxic niceness,' this world might just be a better place.
Monday, January 7, 2008
new year's resolutions
finally, based on the inspiration from my oh-so-wise friend amy, i've decided this is something i need to do. i cannot even begin to count how many blogs and journals i have started, and abandoned after the first couple of weeks. it's pretty impressive really... but last christmas, amy made me a journal, and i've been doing a pretty good job of keeping it up, and i decided that this should be the next step... so here goes one more new year's resolution! one that i'm actually going to keep. i promise. so hold me to that... and we'll just see what happens!
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