niceness detox

for Christmas, one of my closest friends got me a page-a-day calendar called 'getting in touch with your inner bitch,' and said that this would be a good project for the new year. although it was half a joke present, i'm actually really intrigued by the quotes and tips that the calendar gives. today's page had a 'niceness detox tip' that said, "whether you call it toxic niceness, "the disease to please," or "nurturing," the bottom line is that when we suffer from it, everyone gets more out of our lives than we do. getting in touch with your inner bitch is the cure."

so... my question to ponder for the day is, is that true? a good part of me thinks it is. sometimes i can't remember the last time i did something just because i wanted to, or something completely and totally for me. and that can get pretty tiring sometimes. i remember a priest from st. mary's who told us once that life is like those announcements about emergency situations on an airplane. you need to put on your own mask before helping others with theirs. same with life. you can't take care of other people unless you yourself are taken care of first. it's definitely an interesting, and true idea.

but... is that really a good model for living? i'm not sure. i tend to think that it is much better to give than to receive, and that by brightening someone else's day, you will receive the same satisfaction. it makes me wonder if maybe other people getting more out of our lives than us isn't as big of a problem as it sounds. for example, i was thinking about this while volunteering at the hospital this morning. five hours of essentially chaos, from 7 am until 12 pm, running all the 'behind the scenes' responsibilities as well as making sure the patients are happy and well-cared for. by the end, i'm completely beat. but i find a sort of satisfaction in that, walking home, and knowing that i have given absolutely everything that is in me that morning. i worked with some truly amazing patients - an immigrant from darfur, a woman who was recovering from a quadruple bypass, and so many more. and it made me really happy that i was able to lighten their load just a bit with a smile and encouraging words.

maybe giving it all isn't a bad thing after all. looking at how greatly we are blessed with the lives we lead and the friends around us, it makes me think that if everyone suffered from this disease they call 'toxic niceness,' this world might just be a better place.